Does anyone know how many days we have been in lockdown, or partial lockdown for? For me, it feels like sooo long BUT it also feels like the weeks are passing very quickly.
How is everyone feeling? I find this question really tricky to answer because it changes from one day to the next at the moment. With yesterday marking the end of Mental Health Awareness week I decided to do a little reflecting and looked back over my journal of the week. My week has been so mixed and filled with excitement about getting the keys to our new house this week, buying new things to make the house our home. Then anxiety showed up over moving and buying a sofa (buying a sofa in lockdown is blummin hard, I don’t advise it!) and needing every decision I make, from what bed to choose, what rug will match the sofa we don’t yet have, through to what colour paint to choose. As part of my long-standing anxiety I find it incredibly difficult to make decisions on the most simple of things. I often eat similar meals just to eliminate a decision making process. So choosing a sofa that I will have to see daily for many many years and choosing the right paint is tough.
I can hear the rational part of my brain say ‘does it really matter? If you pick a paint colour and in the end decide you don’t like it, what is the worst that will happen?’ And that’s true, if I make a decision it is never the end of the world and can be fixed quite easily. But try telling that to the tricky brain.
I have also been feeling sad and missing my family, grateful to my current situation, uneasy about the future but also busy planning. I’ve felt productive one minute to feeling flat and not feeling like I am doing enough the next.
Last week has been a rollercoaster of emotions, highs and lows, and experiencing so many different feelings. But that is normal. We are living in such strange times, where things that would bother us a little in normal life are amplified. With less to focus on we focus on everything even more to the smallest detail and we have more time to think and dwell and ponder.
Lockdown has given me a new passion which I will talk about in a separate post but I really genuinely LOVE gardening! From choosing flowers to planting and nurturing, I love it all! I never thought that I would enjoy it and it is something I’ve never been any good at. But I would recommend trying lots of new things at the moment to help with your mental health and well-being and see what you really enjoy. Then fill your days (or evenings) with it.
I would love to know what you have been doing to help support your mental health. Let’s share them, you don’t know who might be reading and who you might be helping.
M x
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